It’s an age-old riddle: What is the best age to get married? This question, rooted in the crossroads of tradition and modernity, reverberates throughout life, echoing through conversations with family, friends, and even within our own minds. While deciding the best age for marriage is subjective and inherently personal, diverse perspectives offer insights into this timeless question.
Let’s address the legalities upfront. In India, the legal age for marriage is 18 for women and 21 for men. However, the ‘right’ age is less about legality and more about individual aspirations, societal expectations, and biological realities.
The Roaring Twenties: Traditionally, early marriages were the norm, with the 20s being the preferred entry point into matrimony. Research backs this up to an extent. According to a study by the Demographic Research Unit in Kerala, the best age to get married for a man is between 25-30, and for a woman between 20-25, as indicated by the lower divorce rates.
However, the modern Indian youth paints a different picture. With rising educational pursuits and career ambitions, the 20s are often seen as a time for self-discovery and professional establishment. A 2022 survey by the Times of India revealed that only 5% of urban youth preferred marriage in their 20s, with the focus shifting towards financial stability and emotional maturity. This coincides with the completion of frontal lobe development around 25, linked to better decision-making and emotional regulation.
Nicholas Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah, posits the Goldilocks Theory, suggesting that the late 20s to early 30s is the perfect age for marriage, neither too young nor too old, but “just right”.
The Evolving Thirties: Stepping into the 30s brings a different dance to the equation. Societal pressures begin to simmer, and the “biological clock” ticks louder for some. Women, in particular, face the pressure of declining fertility rates after 35. Men, while not experiencing the same sharp decline, also witness a gradual decrease after 40.
However, the 30s also bring financial stability, emotional grounding, and a clearer vision for the future. For career-driven individuals, this can be the sweet spot for finding a compatible partner who complements their goals and aspirations. Studies have shown that marriages in the late 30s tend to be more stable and satisfying, likely due to increased maturity and self-awareness. As they say, the more we settle into ourselves, the better we get at settling down with others.
As for biological considerations, modern science offers solutions like egg freezing for women prioritising careers in their 20s and early 30s, preserving the option to build families later.
The Enigmatic Forties: In India, the 40s and beyond were once considered a ‘late’ stage for marriage. However, contemporary times have rewritten this narrative. Women are delaying motherhood, pursuing their careers, and embracing solo living with gusto. Men are redefining masculinity, prioritising health and wellness, and embracing fatherhood later in life.
For individuals in their 40s, marriage becomes a conscious choice, often fueled by a desire for companionship and shared experiences. These marriages tend to be based on mutual respect, emotional maturity, and a deep understanding of one’s own wants and needs.
So, is there an ideal age to get married? The answer is nuanced and individualistic. There’s no magic number, no universal recipe, and no ‘perfect’ age to marry. The key lies in understanding your priorities, respecting your personal timeline, and embracing the unique journey that lies ahead.
Whether you’re a 20-year-old chasing dreams, a 30-year-old scaling mountains, or a 40-year-old rediscovering yourself, remember – the ideal age for marriage is when you find the partner who makes your heart flutter and fits into your future plans. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and whether you choose family now or later, there’s a vibrant community waiting to celebrate your journey at every stage.